1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,719
{\an8}AT ONCE: Hey! So, basically...
THEY LAUGH

2
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:06,359
UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC
OK, so our Ancient History teacher,

3
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,359
{\an8}Miss Stanthorpe, isn't like
other teachers.

4
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:11,959
She even took us on a school trip
to visit the Brodcombe Bog Man.

5
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,999
Brodcombe Bog Man is a 3000-year-old
naturally mummified body found

6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,239
in a peat bog near our school.

7
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:18,679
RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCH
MUSIC STOPS

8
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,119
He's in a glass box,
he has a ponytail

9
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,239
and he's all shrivelled up.

10
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:22,319
MUFFLED HOWL

11
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,519
Ms Stanthorpe is the Bog Man expert.

12
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:25,999
She's really into him.

13
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,239
Like, you can tell she doesn't
really have a life

14
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,639
outside of school.

15
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,479
She has... nothing else going on.

16
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,599
INDIE GUITAR MUSIC
Oh, my God.

17
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,119
We literally cried when we found out
that when she was our age,

18
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,279
nobody wanted to take her
to the prom.

19
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,159
So she just stayed at home
and read her book.

20
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,919
So sad!

21
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,359
? A grown-up sad woman... ?

22
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,439
We love you, Miss S!

23
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,399
{\an8}Please help us make a movie about
our favourite teacher.

24
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,119
{\an8}All about her going to the prom
with the love of her life...

25
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,559
{\an8}...the Bog Man.

26
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,719
That would be such an amazing movie.

27
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,639
BOTH: Thank you. Bye!

28
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:05,199
THEY GIGGLE

29
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,559
This is what I like to see,
young people who want

30
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:08,679
to make a difference.

31
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,479
And they're both...
And I'm still talking.

32
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,759
The last year of high school
can be tough.

33
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,959
Tara and Yolanda are probably
dealing with stacks of homework,

34
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,279
going to big parties.

35
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,079
They're probably baby-sitting
as well.

36
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,879
Or working at a kiosk.

37
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,799
Honestly, I could imagine them
making smoothies, seriously.

38
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,799
And they've gone out of
their way to help

39
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,439
this poor Stanthorpian teacher.

40
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,999
You know, Miss Stanthorpe
actually has a PhD

41
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,719
in Neolithic wetland studies.

42
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,239
She's technically a doctor.

43
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,000
Oh. Get her to look
at my groin.

44
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,039
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

45
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,360
Kishmetikaaa!

46
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,399
As my team brushed off
the history books,

47
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,999
they couldn't help taking
a stroll down memory lane.

48
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,279
As soon as the bell rang,
my sisters and I would run

49
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,759
all the way to the Cortesanos.

50
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:20,839
The what?

51
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,799
This gorgeous Art Deco cinema
that my parents did up

52
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,999
and we all worked there,
and I helped paint the sign,

53
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,639
{\an8}and it's probably my happiest
memory.

54
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:33,079
Can't say I had much in the way
of a childhood, personally.

55
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,959
That one.

56
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:36,999
Oh, what, cos you got kidnapped?

57
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,159
Uh-huh.

58
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,319
I was captured by the militia
when I was a baby

59
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,040
and held hostage until
my 19th birthday.

60
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,799
I was mainly tied up
to a chair and tortured.

61
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,559
Oh... Too bad.

62
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,359
We did get to make a lot of
ransom videos, though.

63
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,839
I guess that's sort of how
I got into the biz.

64
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,839
Ugh. "The biz"?

65
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,239
Yeah, I hate it when people
say, "the biz".

66
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,199
I'd avoid telling people that
entire story, if I were you.

67
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,279
So secret. Keep it a secret.

68
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,519
You are on very thin ice.

69
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,319
We arrived at Brodcombe High

70
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,319
and gave our superstar teacher
the good news.

71
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,999
She was flabbergasted.

72
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,240
GIGGLING
BOTH: Thank you. Bye!

73
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,199
I don't understand.

74
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,320
I'd never talk about my personal
life in front of students.

75
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,239
How do they know
I didn't go to the prom?

76
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,159
I've never told anyone that.

77
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,039
They must really care about you.

78
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,760
These are good girls.

79
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,559
While I congratulated
Miss Stanthorpe's hand,

80
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:41,839
Principal Edwards led Winnie and Pat
on a location scout.

81
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,439
This is the auditorium.

82
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,999
Echo!

83
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,159
I love it in here.

84
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,199
Tell you what, normally I have,
like, 500 people in here, min.

85
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,039
I would have loved for you guys
to see one of my assemblies.

86
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,559
Ssshhh!

87
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,559
HUSHED VOICE: Yeah. Yeah, I know.

88
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,679
You're, like, the one for m... Oh.

89
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,199
Oh, really?!

90
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,399
Eamon, what are you doing?

91
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,759
I should give you guys detention.
Go on, back to class.

92
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,479
Off you pop.

93
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,039
Honestly!

94
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,000
HE SIGHS

95
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,879
That is really shocking, you know?

96
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,759
I thought Eamon Bergers was still
going with Yolanda Jansen.

97
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,919
What's he doing with Tara Simmons?!

98
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,479
I'm really behind on the goss.

99
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,439
What the fuck?

100
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,399
They've got boys and girls here.

101
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,559
Yeah, well, most places are
mixed now, Winnie.

102
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,839
You don't say. Wow.

103
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,559
I went to a four-boys school.

104
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,759
An all-boys school?

105
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,439
No, no, no. This was an experiment
in extreme discipline.

106
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,960
Just four boys and 100 teachers.

107
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,879
That's mental.

108
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,479
I think I actually heard about that.
Were you a boarder?

109
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,439
Oh, God, no!

110
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,799
I was just a day boy.

111
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,320
Oh, that poor night boy.

112
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,839
Right, shall I show you
the cafeteria?

113
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:57,999
OK.

114
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,439
I'm surprised you can't see
what's happened here.

115
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,999
I took the class on a trip
to the Brodcombe Exhibition Centre

116
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,359
to view the remains we've been
discussing all term.

117
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,279
I actually split Yolanda
and Tara up.

118
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,199
They were being highly disruptive.

119
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,639
They might be Aspergian.

120
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,679
They said I wanted to suck off
the Bog Man.

121
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,239
Oh, I doubt that!

122
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,319
Look, they obviously just need
some guidance.

123
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,839
May I be bold?

124
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,279
Fortune favours the bold.

125
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,039
No offence, none taken.
These girls need a father figure.

126
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,439
Hey, everyone,
leftover chocolate mousses...

127
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,439
Oh, yeah! ..from the dinner lady.

128
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,959
We'll need to be quick.
These can go off at ANY minute.

129
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,279
Look, this whole project
is inappropriate.

130
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,519
We have a set curriculum.

131
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,839
Huh! This says that
the Brodcombe Bog Man

132
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,599
was found holding a ruin covered
in undeciphered symbols.

133
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,439
I thought that they represented
the breeding... Mmm!

134
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,319
JESS AND MISS STANTHORPE TOGETHER:
...and menstrual cycles of

135
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,279
the local deer population.

136
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,839
It's a popular theory.

137
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,199
I'm impressed.

138
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,519
You know, above all else,
this film will be totally

139
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,799
historically accurate.

140
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,439
Kishmetikaaa!

141
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,599
That, of course, means "greetings".

142
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,479
I've been chosen to be
the film's official linguist.

143
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:07,439
And I'll be meticulously recreating
an authentic Bog Man talking style.

144
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,519
Oh.

145
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,479
Did you see Gorlov's latest paper

146
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,960
on the Pheno-euretic
phonetic alphabet?

147
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,479
I see many things.

148
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:17,959
Oh.

149
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,799
Brilliant. Can't wait!

150
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,439
Edwards? Yes, boss!

151
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,039
Where are my girlies?

152
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,919
We need to talk casting ASAP.

153
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,119
Also, do you have any spare clothes?

154
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,960
Someone has had an accident.

155
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,719
Clumsy.

156
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,999
They didn't have anything in purple.

157
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,999
Just to reiterate, Sebastian's
mum and dad bankroll

158
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,639
our entire operation out of guilt.

159
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:45,039
He's not very easy to be around,
but for the moment

160
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,879
we are stuck with him.

161
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,999
I made sure all lessons
were cancelled for the day

162
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,319
as we held mandatory auditions
for the heart-throb

163
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,799
at the centre of our teen drama...

164
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,599
LAUGHTER
...the Bog Man.

165
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,039
Oh, that is such a cool clip.

166
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,040
You've got to send me that clip!

167
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,119
Let's see Rhys Trundle.

168
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,480
Hi, Rhys.

169
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,039
You bring me back to life.

170
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,559
But me no understand... modern world.

171
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,160
Remember last year when the fire
alarm made him shit himself?

172
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,519
Really? It did not!

173
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,959
Oh, thanks, Rhys.
I think we've seen enough

174
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,000
THEY CONTINUE LAUGHING

175
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,679
You must really miss
your girlfriend?

176
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,439
I not have girlfriend.

177
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,119
Me have wife.

178
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,639
Bog wife.

179
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,079
I know his cousin.

180
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,279
She told me he has epilepsy.

181
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,000
That's disgusting!

182
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:44,999
Thanks, Tim!

183
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,159
I hear the circus is in town!

184
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,319
OK, what is thi...

185
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,959
Sorry, what is this?

186
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,760
The Insane Party Starters?

187
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,040
TECHNO MUSIC

188
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,800
? Go, go, go, go in hard

189
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,960
? Go, go, go, go, go, go

190
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,359
? Go, go, go, go in hard... ?
Joke audition. Joke audition!

191
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,079
Sebastian, who are these guys?

192
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,199
? Go, go, go, go in ha... ?
JESS TURNS OFF MUSIC

193
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:26,399
I hesitate to ask how your bog
dialect is coming along.

194
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,120
LAUGHTER

195
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,559
They're funny!

196
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,399
Eamon Bergers.

197
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,839
Strong name.

198
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,239
Eamon! Hi.

199
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,840
Ooh...

200
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,399
HE STARTS TO STRUM

201
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,199
? Everyone's rushing,
losing their minds

202
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,999
? I'm just watching,
taking my time

203
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,599
? Newspapers,
skyscrapers

204
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,239
? Blank faces

205
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,719
? Sweet baby princess

206
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,279
? Daughter of the Queen

207
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,839
? I got a pure,
a pure connection... ?

208
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,440
HE WHISTLES

209
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,880
Eamon, what's up?!

210
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,159
APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

211
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,719
Eamon totally got
our juices flowing.

212
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,479
Can you believe his song
was an original?

213
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,359
Time to throw on my captain's hat.

214
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,880
I've found a dreamboat!

215
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,479
You know, I was thinking about
writing your name on my penis.

216
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,959
Don't you dare!

217
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,919
Isn't that, uh...

218
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,199
INDISTINCT CHATTER

219
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,959
And wasn't he with... Yeah.

220
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,239
I didn't know you played it!
That was really great.

221
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,079
You know, early hunters actually
relied on whistling

222
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,839
as a form of communication.

223
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:42,959
Is that right?

224
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,120
Yeah.

225
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,040
We know your secret.

226
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,400
OMINOUS MUSIC

227
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,399
What did she say to you?

228
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,599
Nothing. She said she...
She says she likes my head.

229
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,799
I feel like I'm back at school.
They're bullies.

230
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,839
Pat, they're the talent.

231
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,039
WHISPERING: Stop.

232
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,439
Well, looks like we found
our bog body,

233
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,360
and what a body!

234
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,879
Yolanda, how would you feel about
playing his throbbing love interest,

235
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,199
the young Gertrude Stanthorpe?

236
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,240
Erm, I was wondering if I could
read for that part.

237
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,119
Excuse me? It's my part.

238
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,399
But you didn't even audition.

239
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,079
Erm, Tara, you're being
kind of dodgy.

240
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,679
Yeah.
TARA SCOFFS

241
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,719
Just you're being a little bit
dodgy. And hold on a second!

242
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,679
Tara, I have something else
for you. I do.

243
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,039
Another part.

244
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,079
Really important,
equal billing.

245
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,039
What?

246
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,439
I'd like you to play...

247
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,679
...Daniella Rachella St Claire.

248
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:46,079
So Daniella Rachella St Claire
is a stock character that

249
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,639
I always have in my back pocket
whenever someone feels like

250
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:49,959
they're being left out,

251
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,079
or when I'm accused of not having
enough strong female characters.

252
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,039
We've used her three or four times.

253
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,079
Sam?

254
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,959
Sam, we're gonna have to lose these.

255
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,879
They're friendship necklaces.

256
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,639
Pat, are you sure?

257
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,640
SHE SHOUTS: Sorry, did you not want
usable audio?

258
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,199
Guys, grow up!

259
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,159
That can permanently kill someone.

260
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,919
THE GIGGLE

261
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,879
Hundreds of people die from
blazers every day.

262
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,960
MELANCHOLIC PIANO MUSIC

263
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:22,959
Gertrude?

264
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,479
Are you OK?

265
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,959
Are you talking to me?

266
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,759
I didn't think you knew I existed.

267
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,679
You live with your inbred family
in that ramshackle hut

268
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,999
next to the bog.

269
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,959
This is gonna sound
hella random,

270
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,999
but I've been having these...

271
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,920
...visions.

272
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Why have you been texting Eamon?

273
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,999
I just said I liked his song.
I was being nice.

274
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,879
You're fucking dead, bitch.
Oh, I'm fucking dead? Yeah, you are!

275
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,719
Oh, really? Dead, bitch, yeah!
Come for my boyfriend again...

276
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,319
THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER
Break it up, break it up!

277
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,359
What's all this about?

278
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,159
She's trying to steal my boyfriend.

279
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,479
Is that true?

280
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,679
He's just a guy!

281
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,999
Listen, it's OK to be boy-crazy,

282
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,799
but I'm begging you,
don't be boy-delusional.

283
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,359
Never talk to me, ever again.

284
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,439
You don't mean that, cupcake!

285
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,400
She doesn't mean that - it's OK...
Oh...

286
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,599
What WAS that?
Was it something I did?

287
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,879
It's a minefield of young love.

288
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:34,799
This morning, we caught Eamon
and Tara having sex.

289
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,160
They were just kissing.

290
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,999
A steamy love triangle.

291
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,999
Stolen kisses, forbidden glances.

292
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,039
Oh, I hate drama so much!

293
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,519
Would it be worth getting
the school counsellor involved?

294
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,479
I used to go to Shelley
all of the time.

295
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,319
It can be really good
to talk to someone.

296
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,759
Nope.

297
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,239
The only one thing for it,
the bog.

298
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,439
Trust me, it has healing qualities.

299
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:02,839
Winnie's right.

300
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,519
We will need to stay overnight
upon the bog.

301
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,759
If it can preserve a bloke...

302
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,039
...it can salvage a friendship!

303
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,759
Wah!

304
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,479
Have you ever been to a bog?

305
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,359
T-text in.

306
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,359
As night fell, we gathered around
the campfire to bond

307
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:20,639
and learn and share,

308
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,159
but I sensed the girls were
still squabbling.

309
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,799
I needed the bog to work
its otherworldly magic, ASAP.

310
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,999
...but he wasn't related
to the skeleton because...

311
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,839
...he was a skeleton.!
YOLANDA SCREAMS

312
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,679
SHE SOBS

313
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,999
OK, it's getting pretty late.

314
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,639
Yeah, should probably hit the sack.

315
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:38,799
Big day tomorrow, everyone.

316
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,279
Yo, S-dog?

317
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,239
Can we stay up a little longer?

318
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,839
Oh, yeah. No problem.

319
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:48,999
As long as you promise to have
an unforgettable night.

320
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,680
Yes! Yes!

321
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:55,039
The next morning I was eager
to start shooting.

322
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,960
We'd fallen a little
behind schedule

323
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,559
waiting for our starlets
to emerge from their slumber.

324
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,599
Good morning, sleepyheads!

325
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,079
Can you not?

326
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,599
Don't bite my head off.
I'm not a gingerbread man.

327
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,759
I've got to show you where
we're filming this first scene.

328
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,079
Come on. You're gonna love it.

329
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,799
While I led Tara and Yolanda
down to set,

330
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,959
Jess applied Eamon's prosthetics.

331
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,279
So would the Bog Man have had,
like, multiple partners?

332
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:25,359
Mm... Well, this was long before
we adopted sedentary communities.

333
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,359
The dimorphism amongst
mobile tribes would suggest,

334
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,959
like, a chieftain-like role,

335
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,479
who would have appointed dozens
of concubines.

336
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,079
So, yeah.

337
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,279
HE CHUCKLES
What's up?!

338
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,239
I've got a question.

339
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,599
So I know it was a long time ago,

340
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,239
but do you think your parents
have ever forgiven you?

341
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:45,639
You know, after you destroyed
their cinema.

342
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:46,879
OMINOUS MUSIC

343
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,399
What was it called again?

344
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,959
The Cortesanos!

345
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,039
Oh, no! Oh!

346
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,999
AFFECTS SPANISH ACCENT:
Oh, you ruined it!

347
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,519
THEY LAUGH

348
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,879
I, um... I think I'm going to go
and get inside of my bag because

349
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,400
I think I maybe dropped it...
DROWNED BY LAUGHTER

350
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:06,879
Hey!

351
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,159
Oh, you look so cute.

352
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,799
I don't know how many times
I've warned my team not

353
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,559
to let their personal lives
impact the job.

354
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,559
So I was a little disappointed
to see Jess letting her past

355
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:18,839
come back to haunt her.

356
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,839
Then I went to go make myself
a slush puppy.

357
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,799
And I used to always make myself
a slush puppy.

358
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,319
And then... And then I heard
this noise,

359
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,399
and it was our projectionist, Luis.

360
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,839
And he had sprained his ankle,
when he was climbing

361
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,079
down the ladder.

362
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,799
So then I went up to the side
and I took down the letters and...

363
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,559
...then then I locked the door,

364
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:42,400
and I-I just forgot about
the machine!

365
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:50,039
And in the morning, the whole
place was slushed out.

366
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:54,399
Slush, up to the ceiling, everywhere.

367
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:55,799
It was everywhere.

368
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,479
And it was so sticky!

369
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,639
People kept saying,
"It's too sticky here."

370
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,119
And it was all my fault!

371
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,879
It is the final straw.
I'm cracking skulls.

372
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,159
Pat, you will stand down.

373
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:10,919
I'm not giving up on these girls.

374
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,280
Look, they're besties again!

375
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,640
How I have missed those smiles.

376
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,719
And may I ask where the hell
you've been?

377
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,719
Well, um, last night,
Yolanda sent us out

378
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,319
to buy some Booker's.

379
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,039
Guess she found out
about my fake ID.

380
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,479
Your real ID.

381
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,399
You've been out all night?

382
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,479
He told us he likes you.

383
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,639
No, I didn't!

384
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,399
I told you that in confidence!

385
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:42,199
Anyway, we got kind of lost
last night,

386
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,679
and I think we found another one.

387
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,479
Another?

388
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,600
Bog body. Follow me.

389
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,399
Why is he wearing headphones?

390
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,479
Yeah, no, they didn't have
headphones in Neolithic times.

391
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,919
Sebastian, you drop kick!

392
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,719
This guy's fallen down and
whacked his head on that rock.

393
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,399
This is a freshie.

394
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,719
Nothing to see here, mate.
Move on, move on!

395
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,039
An ancient bog body is a discovery.

396
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,839
This is far too modern.

397
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,119
This is a problem.

398
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,559
This guy is actually dead,
Sebastian.

399
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,520
Oh, I put my hand in his mouth.

400
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,719
So...

401
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,399
HE GRUNTS INDECIPHERABLY

402
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,519
Urgh-shuurghh...

403
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,839
Urgh, guuurghhhh... Guurghh!

404
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,759
Well, at least he's been practising
the bog language.

405
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,279
WHOOSHING

406
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,519
My girlies!

407
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,239
INDISTINCT SHOUTING
They're absolutely bonkers.

408
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,279
Fight, fight, fight!

409
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,719
No!

410
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,639
No, no!

411
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,079
Girls!

412
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,439
This isn't you.

413
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,239
This isn't us.

414
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,799
Take a deep breath.

415
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,039
Have some screen time.

416
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,839
We have to shoot while
we've got this soft light.

417
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,879
Shut up about your stupid movie!

418
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,359
Hey!

419
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,999
I heard that.

420
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,039
We did the whole thing as a joke.

421
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,239
You're a loser.

422
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,280
And we know you got a stiffy
doing the bleep test.

423
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,839
Oh, you foolish girls.

424
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,399
The last thing you want to do is get
on the wrong side of our Pat.

425
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,999
Basically, she explained to
Tara and Yolanda that

426
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,999
if they didn't keep a lid
on the bickering

427
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,439
she'd frame them for murder.

428
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,639
She's got a real knack for
planting evidence

429
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,759
and stitching together audio
to sound like a confession.

430
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,039
She's done it before
and she'll do it again.

431
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:38,279
With everyone on the same page,
I could finally do what I do best,

432
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,879
weaving a prepubescent love story.

433
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,999
Mm! Full house. Yeah.

434
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,119
So how was camp? Any hook-ups?

435
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,959
I heard Sebastian might have
a little thing for Jess.

436
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,479
OK, everyone, I know it's not
a rainy day,

437
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,999
but who wants to chuck on a movie?!

438
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,359
THEY CHEER

439
00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,359
Well, just remember, when it's over
we need to knuckle down

440
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:01,919
because there is an exam on Monday.

441
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,319
Oh, boo!
CLASS GROANS

442
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,719
Ah, don't worry - you'll ace it
after you see this.

443
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,719
OK, I need two strong boys
to get the TV.

444
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,559
Let's go Vincent and, um...

445
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,400
Eamon, what happened to your face?

446
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,559
I think my skin had a bad reaction
to the prosthetics.

447
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,680
Oh, dear.

448
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,039
I come here whenever I feel low.

449
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,639
Or to sit and pray for
my ovarian cysts to go away

450
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,559
so I don't have to do IVF.

451
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,679
Daniella Rachella St Claire,

452
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,560
are you having one
of your waking visions?

453
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,680
TWANGY UPBEAT GUITAR RIFF

454
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,319
Wow.

455
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,000
He's gorgeous.

456
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,239
HE GRUNTS WEAKLY

457
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,199
Ah, ah!

458
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,079
BOG MAN SIGHS
Oh, he misses Pangaea!

459
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,439
So, Bog Man, how old are you?

460
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,040
HE GASPS
Ah...

461
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,439
TRANSLATION:

462
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,119
That's my prom dress.

463
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,240
Dad says it's too revealing.

464
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,399
You've never heard of prom?

465
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,720
SHE GASPS

466
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,999
Girls, girls, girls.

467
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,079
Now, I've been pretty lenient
already,

468
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,359
and the PTA are right up my arse.

469
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,119
Now, I already let you do
Battle of the Bands.

470
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,559
But prom?

471
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,639
How old is this guy?

472
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,039
BOG MAN GRUNTS

473
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,120
Ah!

474
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,679
Oh, that's a four-colour pen. Ah.

475
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:55,199
Now, IF - and that's a big if,
mister -

476
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,519
if I let you go to the prom,

477
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:01,400
the question is, who are you
going to take?

478
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,919
Daniella Rachela...

479
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:18,920
...St Claire.

480
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,039
Excellent choice.

481
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,720
I'll just put that into the system.

482
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,320
SLOW POP BALLAD
INDISTINCT CHATTER

483
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,119
Do you believe in the concept of...

484
00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,760
...soulmates?

485
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,439
MUSIC

486
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,879
There they are!

487
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,519
Hey, Bog Man, I did some research.

488
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,959
Gertrude?

489
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,199
She's 16 and he's 3,000 years old!

490
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,719
It's an inappropriate age gap.

491
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,240
TRANSLATION:

492
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,359
And we're having a baby.

493
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:25,639
ALL: Awww!

494
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:29,800
? Summer night feelings,
summer night feelings... ?

495
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,959
You have a unique style.

496
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,439
And you can finally be free.

497
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,479
The exhibition centre have
already been in touch.

498
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,559
They want to play it on
a constant loop.

499
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,199
Miss S...

500
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:54,439
...we just wanted to say that
you're really intelligent.

501
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,519
You're a really good teacher.

502
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,999
And we made you this.

503
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,720
That's very thoughtful, girls.

504
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,679
Thanks, girls.

505
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,079
Pat, I'm in awe of you.

506
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,000
Didn't I ask you to get me a Coke?

507
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,920
Now, I think Breanna has something
she wants to say.

508
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,559
On behalf of everyone
at Brodcombe High,

509
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,719
we would like to thank you
for coming to our school

510
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,560
and dazzling us with movie magic.

511
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,399
? Everyone's rushing,
losing their minds

512
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,319
{\an8}? I'm just watching, taking my time

513
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:46,879
{\an8}? Newspapers, skyscrapers

514
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:51,319
{\an8}? Blank faces, blank faces

515
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,279
{\an8}? Sweet baby princess

516
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,679
{\an8}? Daughter of the Queen

517
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,480
{\an8}? We've got a pure, a pure
connection... ?

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{\an8}Subtitles by Red Bee Media

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Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0